The obsequious foreigner in an instant made his appearance; his principal merit and utility were speaking the French language and broken English so as scarcely to be understood.
[some narrative omitted]
The following dialogue commenced between the master and his valet.
The honourable Mr. Pellet. Facile, are there any letters for me?"
Facile. "Oui, Monsieur, (with the lowest bow, giving the right honourable Mr. Pellet a letter) the honourable Monsieur Thomas Vortex has sent dis note for you."
[some narrative omitted]
Facile. "There have beside called on you, Monsieur (bowing) de tailleur, two jockies un marchand, qui vend du vin , Monsieur Soleil, un jeweller, Monsieur Did**ot, un opera dancer, Monsieur Issachar, the great broker, qui est ver rich."
The honourable Mr. Pellet. "Very well, my good Facile. Honest Issachar is a d.....d good sort of fellow. He is the lily."
Facile. "Ah, mon Dieu! mais Monsieur , (emphatically shrugging up his shoulders) mais Monsieur (smiling, and putting his hand to his breast) une demoiselle charmante, tres belle , com this evening, she says dat she love you, that she, en verite , adore you, enfin elle dit que vous etes barbare, ingrat , and dat she will be ver inconsolable."
The honourable Mr. Pellet. "Adorable creature! but if I hear a tittle of French from you, I'll break every bone in your skin."
Facile. "Maamselle look ver pretty, Sar ."
The honourable Mr. Pellet. "You French devil, fetch my masquerade dress."
Facile. "Ah vous etes toujours gai, Monsieur, toujours plaisant, just like one Frenchman exactement ."
The honourable Mr. Pellet. "None of your jabbering, Sir, depechez vous and be d.....d."
Facile. "I fly en verite , Sar , I fly, (scraping very low on the ground, and hobbling out of the room) ma foi! peste! le diable (muttering to himself) dis corn does plaguy me so, I must pay one visit to M. Gardiner, who has cured de Duchess of Rigadoon's pieds ."
The honourable Mr. Pellet. "What is that you say, you old fool?" (shoving him violently out of the room.)
Facile. (returns and makes a low bow) "I have de honour of having received one big push from you, Sar . I am ver oblige, Sar , ver , ver much oblige indeed."

"Greater fools than I first thought them," said John; "for my part, I would never fight about a female, who changes her mind as often as the weathercock points different ways."
" Ah, John," said Nanny smartly, "you forget the time when you and Tummus , our coachman, had stripped to fight about me, because I know who was jealous. Don't you recollect, John, when I came between you, and parted you; and yet it was a duced hard matter to make you put your clothes on and sit quiet , John, you know it was; and who, pray, was the fool then? Don't I recollect, Tummus telling you that your forks were so dirty, that a man might ride to Rumford on them, and that you were always the fiddle of the company?"
"No matter of that, " said John; "why don't they fight with fistes ? a bloody nose, or a blow in the bread-basket , is all they would get then; but here, dang it , Nanny, the very thoughts of it makes one's blood run cold: gemmen , who ought to know better, as having larning , will fight with barking irons or cold steel . Curse those barking irons , I cannot bear them; they suit thieves or pirates, but gemmen to fight with barking irons as they do, Nanny, is heathenish

" Why as to the matter of that," answered the betteer looking of the two, though a regard to truth compels me to say that both of them wore the appearance of felons rather than officers who served his Majesty's court, "I am good-natured enough when there's a bit coming forward , but provisions, as my fellow officer Dick says, are so dear now a-days, that let a man be ever so industrious, I defies him to get an honest living, and pay every man his due. For my part, I pays as I goes , and therefore I can't , in justice, do you see, Miss Tankerville, afford to lose. Times are main ticklish , as brother Dick says; but, howsomever, tho' I can't take your bail, I would go a mile to oblige you, Miss. You are such a handsome, fine young lady, and withal look so good humoured."

"Ay, but I know you are all base men, O dear sir, do , I must entreat of you, be quiet. Mercy on me, how you pull me about! I shall be very angry, 'pon honour."
Pellet, who knew that Philip of Macedon had subdued states with gold, that Jupiter in a golden shower had wooed the daughter of the wary Acrisius to his embraces; that its efficacy had been successfully tried in all nations, and by characters of every description; now essayed what all-powerful bribery would effect.
"Is it true that you love me, sir," sighed Sally, as she caught a transient view of the gold in his hand. "Well then, I vows and purtests , I thinks you, sir, a very, very handsome gentleman."

When sir Henry and his friends reached Vienna, the English commander would force them to his lodgings; and, in the course of the evening, and so elevated at his late exploit, or as he properly called it, coup-de-main , that, with a view of paying deserved honour to it, he made them as drunk, he said, "as he ever loved to see his messmates." "Damn all palaver," added this son of the waves, " it don't matter a rope's end, or argufy a rummer of grog , if a man has a good tough oaken heart, what his outside is. There's that Lionel, a pretty youth, and though he looks all the world like a milk-sop , or one who never crossed the line , is as brave a fellow as the Isle ever produced. Come, give us your fist--a hearty good shake, young man. Here's not a dry soul on board; we all of us love good cheer; drink, sir, 'Success to Old England,' and fill again, signors. There's nothing like travelling; if it had not been for that, I should not have seen the coast of Holland, Aboukir, Copenhagen castle, or passed the gut of Gibraltar. Travelling clears our minds from all prejudice; and an English sailor is like his own ship--tight, and made of oak, plenty of hold in him, and, thank God, open to all nations but our enemies; and when we have beat them into a little sound reason, why then we parley vous as well as the best of them ; aye, and are on good terms with Mounseer , as we are with Italian, german, spaniard, or Dutchman. Who would have supposed we should have seen a Dutchman frenchified?

He could scarcely write intelligibly his own name, set all rules of grammar at defiance, breaking Priscian's and even Lowth's head most cruelly. He conceived, in his wisdom, that the use of musty proverbs and wise saws displayed a degree of knowledge superior to the generality of the world. His manners were blunt, his actions unpolished; and though frequently his phraseology was "Sir, and madam, if you please; I am highly obliged to you; will you please to have any of this, or would you possibly choose that; in what shall I serve you, sir, or madam;"--it was evident that this language arose from custom, and was the language of his shop.
"Gentlemen," said this man, who was about five feet one inch in height, and potbellied, dressed in a complete suit of the same cloth, "gentlemen, I begs pardon. It is werry , werry warm. I sweats like a town-bull, I declare," wiping his forehead; "my face is all a muck , and yet, upon my credit, I only walked a snail's pace from my house in Prospect-place, Newington, t'other side of the water. Ah, there's a number of warm men lives there; none of your wishy-washy skip-jack colonels, your spendthrift members of the parliament-house; many worth half a plum, some worth a whole one; gemini , they are warm fellows; they are your good men; men who can well afford to pay the old woman nine-pence, aye , and can afford to keep horses though they do eat of nights." This last remark was uttered with a look of profound sagacity.

"May-hap, Mr. Bergamot, you do not like the cut of my coat; though it was not made by a parley woo francais , it is of good cloth; aye , as good as ever came out of a tradesman's shop. I bought it of a near neighbour of mine, enough to make me a whole suit. Zooks , how you stare, just like a stuck pig. I shan't eat you, sir, so don't be afraid. Why, sir, you have a countenance sour enough to turn all the small beer in the cellar;" winking to the company. " What's look now-a-days. Pride rides in coaches, and honesty is content to take up with the ten-toe stage ."

"Oddsbuds! I, for my part, likes sweet things." "Will you have some of these rabbits?" said the giver of the feast. "Shall I help you, Mr. Snug, to a wing?"
"Aye, a wing and a part of the back, and plenty of onion sauce. None of your Wauxhall bits for me. I says a wing. If people, sir, don't take care of themselves now-a-days, I don't know, for my part, what's to become of them."

" Ah , oui , il ne vous manque que cela : ah , dat is, you would be so near parfait , if you could but to know de French. But I do love de English! d' English is charmante ! -- she is -- beautiful rolling language! -- But monsieur vicaire , shall I shew you mon petit trésor -- de little Charles?"
"I thank you, mademoiselle," cried the vicar, as he looked at his watch: "I am contented that he is well. It is time that you present me to madame Adéle."
"Oh dear, no, not at all in de vorld !" urged mademoiselle: "I must have de pleasure to shew you mon petit . C'est en enfant qui -- dat is, e is wonderful shild -- very quite wonderful! and he speak d' English and de French as I do tell him. C'est un veritable plaisir -- it is pleasure d'entendre parler dat ."

Leclerc spoke better English than his companion; for during the absence of his young mistress in France, he had rested with her family in England. He regarded mademoiselle at this moment, as only the good-humoured French can regard where they are prepared to taunt. -- " Vhat vould you design at de parson, Miss?" demanded he.
" Moi ?" asked Justine. " Rien ! rien !"
"Speak English, Miss," enjoined Leclerc. " Monsieur Vicaire cannot speak de French, and he cannot receive your addresses but in his tongue."
" Vell ," cried mademoiselle, "I vill be sure to address him in his tongue den . Is dat good English?"
" Oh , it is beautiful dat ! " encouraged Leclerc.
" Vell den ," rejoined mademoiselle, "I do vant always to speak de good English for dat I address de vicaire ."
"But, Miss," began Leclerc, " what do you propose to yourself in -- in --" Leclerc was at a loss for a word -- "in -- in killing monsieur le vicaire ?"
"No, sir," answered Justine, indignantly, "I do not propose to myself to kill de vicaire ."
" Regardez un peu ," persisted Leclerc. "You have dressed yourself to-day like de queen of Mesopotamie, and it is altogether to kill de vicaire ."
" Pardonnerez " cried mademoiselle.
" Non . I do say," re-urged Leclerc -- "I do say dat your are vicked against de vicaire -- dat you do vish he vill marry you!"
" Mon Dieu ! est il possible ?" inquired mademoiselle, in amazement.
" C'est certain " rejoined Leclerc. "But hear me, Miss -- I do pray you to hear me, Miss. In your -- vhat do you call dat vord croyance ? Faidth ? Yes, dat is de vord . Vell den , Miss, in your faidth , de parsons do never marry demselves , and it is shameful for your to tempt an English parson to marry himself ."