A few of their nocturnal meetings were attended by Barney; much slang was spoken, of a nature requiring the science of the author of Pelham, to render palatable to the reader.

" 'Tis I that have that same thin , yer honor , be the blessin' o' Providence. Chilther' comes as thick as poverty, most times , but, thank God! we've not known to say want , for 'tis seldom but we've a praty to put in their mouths; an' shoore 'tisn't the likes of us that could ixpect to be havin' mate onst a week like our betters. Though, may be, if we got a habit of atin' it, we'd think it hard to be widout it; so we would. "
"How often do you get a joint of meat, pray?"
"Is it a jint o' mate , yer honor ! The Lord be betune us an' all harum , where 'ud we cum be a jint o' mate ? barrin' it may be a pig's head, or some small matter o' that kind, at Christmas or Easter. I niver seen a rale jint o' mate sin' the blessed day I was married to Murty Mahoney, so I haven't ,--and that's three an' twenty years cum next Lady-day."
"Your children appear strong and healthy, nevertheless."
" Oh! thanks be where due, they are that; an' why would n't they? They've no stint of de prates any how; an' onst a week, or on a saint's day, mostly a herrin' or a sup o' milk wid them. Sorro' wud I wish to see de day a child o' mine 'ud grumble while he'd a bowl o' Carrigaline beauties , or good red-nosed kidneys planted down upon de table, wid a relish now an' then, or may be onst a week--"
"The rain still continues as heavy as ever," said the gentleman. "May I ask leave to remain under the shelter of your roof until the storm has passed off?"
"Yer honor 'd be kindly welcome, shoore , if 'twas de grandest house in de county I had afore ye . Judy! rache me de prauskeen 'till I wipe a stool for his honor to sit down upon."
"Do not trouble yourself. It is quite clean, I dare say," replied Mr. Stapleton, for such was the gentleman's name.
"Beggin' yer honor 's pardin ', but I've hard say , 'quite clane ' aint clane enuff for de Englishers ,-- an' I'm thinking, be yer honor 's tongue, that ye does n't belong to this part of de counthree , any how."
"You are right," said Mr. Stapleton; "I am an Englishman, and a stranger in Ireland, and I feel deeply interested by what I have seen of the country. Indeed, my admiration is excited by the numerous instances I meet, where apparently extreme poverty is supported with a degree of cheerfulness and patience, in vain to be sought for in my own more favoured land."
"Oh! where 'ud be de use of bein' onpatient , yer honor ? What 'ud we get be that? The Lord knows best what's good for us all; an' shoore , if we've His blessin' , 'tis all we want."
"That's true, perhaps; but now, tell me,--you have been married three-and-twenty years, you say. You have reared--how many children?"
"Tirteen , yer honor . 'Tisn't often wid 'll find a smaller family,-- that's among the poore o' the county. They tell me chilther 's scarcer in the county Limerick, but I dunnow . Murty thought it best to settle where his work was; an' may be 'tis right he was. "
"How does he gain his living, and support this large family?"
"He attinds de masons,-- that's de masther buildher' s," said Mrs. Mahoney, willing to express in the most imposing terms the occupation of her husband.
"What in England we call a bricklayer's labourer, I suppose?"
"I niver hard himself say he was that same ," returned the poor woman, a little wounded by what she considered to be so harsh an appellation. "He just mixes up de morthar an' dem things for de workin' men, an' does any odd job that 'ud be for helpin 'em , an' de likes o' that, an' --"
"Carries a hod for his amusement, I suppose?" said Mr. Stapleton, smiling.
"Is it a hod o' morthar ? In coorse he'll do that same in de way o' bis'ness , an' de niver a worse man is he for it, any way," continued the still more offended dame.
"Do not imagine I intended any offence to his, or your feelings, by carelessly mentioning an old subject of jocularity with us in England. A man's usefulness ought to be the truest source of his pride; and neither yourself, nor your husband, I am sure, need blush to own the means of support that have enabled you to bring up this fine family of well-grown girls, and their still more sturdy brothers."
"Yer honor 's words are like honey, shoorely ," replied Mrs. Mahoney, completely mollified by this saving speech. "De girls is well enuff ,--Katy! be done tazing the boniveen , an' I'll throuble ye !-- an' de b'ys, I hope, 'll be gettin' an honest livin' in time, yer honor. Barney! is that yer manners, ye vagabone of de world! keep de trackeens on you do, an' a jintleman to the fore !"
[some dialogue omitted]
The poor woman applied her apron (or ' prauskeen', as she would have called it,) to her eyes, seemingly disturbed by the question; after a little time she returned,-- "Ah! 'tis a hard trial partin' wid them, so it is -- onst they come--two girls an' a b'y's laid under de sod, an' Phelim, that's de eldest, he wint for a soldier; he never tuk to de larnin '; an' de schoolmasther , ould Justin Delaney, wid de one eye, advised we'd send him abroad, afore , may be, he'd get transported,-- 'twas de only thing he sed for him, and maybe 'd make a jintleman of him all out . There's Judy, an' Katy, an' Peggy, that's all my girls left. Michael, an' Terry, an' Dan's at school, gettin' their larnin' , any how . If yer honor looks through the windy ,--no, not the windy , the hat's in to keep the wet out where Dan broke it last summer, de rapparee! but out thro' de doore , yer honor 'll see Dinnis sitting under de bush for shelter, and 'twas digging a patch, he was, for de praties . And this is Patrick, yer honor ; ah! 'tis he's de jinteelest of 'em all, thryin' to keep de pig out o' yer honor 's hat, so he is; 'tis he'll make his fortin some day, whoever 'll live to see it, for its himself had de nate way wid him, ever an' always. But 'tis Barney, there, yer honor , brakes de ould heart in me, so he does, an' has nothin' o' decency or manners about him, for all his schoolin' , an' de pains his father tuk , an' myself, moreover, to thry to make something out of him. We niver 'll make our money o' Barney, I'm thinkin' , an' all de harum I wish him 's a good sarvice in a genteel family, for Barney's handy enough for that matter."

" 'Tis I that have that same thin , yer honor , be the blessin' o' Providence. Chilther' comes as thick as poverty, most times , but, thank God! we've not known to say want , for 'tis seldom but we've a praty to put in their mouths; an' shoore 'tisn't the likes of us that could ixpect to be havin' mate onst a week like our betters. Though, may be, if we got a habit of atin' it, we'd think it hard to be widout it; so we would. "
"How often do you get a joint of meat, pray?"
"Is it a jint o' mate , yer honor ! The Lord be betune us an' all harum , where 'ud we cum be a jint o' mate ? barrin' it may be a pig's head, or some small matter o' that kind, at Christmas or Easter. I niver seen a rale jint o' mate sin' the blessed day I was married to Murty Mahoney, so I haven't ,--and that's three an' twenty years cum next Lady-day."
"Your children appear strong and healthy, nevertheless."
" Oh! thanks be where due, they are that; an' why would n't they? They've no stint of de prates any how; an' onst a week, or on a saint's day, mostly a herrin' or a sup o' milk wid them. Sorro' wud I wish to see de day a child o' mine 'ud grumble while he'd a bowl o' Carrigaline beauties , or good red-nosed kidneys planted down upon de table, wid a relish now an' then, or may be onst a week--"
"The rain still continues as heavy as ever," said the gentleman. "May I ask leave to remain under the shelter of your roof until the storm has passed off?"
"Yer honor 'd be kindly welcome, shoore , if 'twas de grandest house in de county I had afore ye . Judy! rache me de prauskeen 'till I wipe a stool for his honor to sit down upon."
"Do not trouble yourself. It is quite clean, I dare say," replied Mr. Stapleton, for such was the gentleman's name.
"Beggin' yer honor 's pardin ', but I've hard say , 'quite clane ' aint clane enuff for de Englishers ,-- an' I'm thinking, be yer honor 's tongue, that ye does n't belong to this part of de counthree , any how."
"You are right," said Mr. Stapleton; "I am an Englishman, and a stranger in Ireland, and I feel deeply interested by what I have seen of the country. Indeed, my admiration is excited by the numerous instances I meet, where apparently extreme poverty is supported with a degree of cheerfulness and patience, in vain to be sought for in my own more favoured land."
"Oh! where 'ud be de use of bein' onpatient , yer honor ? What 'ud we get be that? The Lord knows best what's good for us all; an' shoore , if we've His blessin' , 'tis all we want."
"That's true, perhaps; but now, tell me,--you have been married three-and-twenty years, you say. You have reared--how many children?"
"Tirteen , yer honor . 'Tisn't often wid 'll find a smaller family,-- that's among the poore o' the county. They tell me chilther 's scarcer in the county Limerick, but I dunnow . Murty thought it best to settle where his work was; an' may be 'tis right he was. "
"How does he gain his living, and support this large family?"
"He attinds de masons,-- that's de masther buildher' s," said Mrs. Mahoney, willing to express in the most imposing terms the occupation of her husband.
"What in England we call a bricklayer's labourer, I suppose?"
"I niver hard himself say he was that same ," returned the poor woman, a little wounded by what she considered to be so harsh an appellation. "He just mixes up de morthar an' dem things for de workin' men, an' does any odd job that 'ud be for helpin 'em , an' de likes o' that, an' --"
"Carries a hod for his amusement, I suppose?" said Mr. Stapleton, smiling.
"Is it a hod o' morthar ? In coorse he'll do that same in de way o' bis'ness , an' de niver a worse man is he for it, any way," continued the still more offended dame.
"Do not imagine I intended any offence to his, or your feelings, by carelessly mentioning an old subject of jocularity with us in England. A man's usefulness ought to be the truest source of his pride; and neither yourself, nor your husband, I am sure, need blush to own the means of support that have enabled you to bring up this fine family of well-grown girls, and their still more sturdy brothers."
"Yer honor 's words are like honey, shoorely ," replied Mrs. Mahoney, completely mollified by this saving speech. "De girls is well enuff ,--Katy! be done tazing the boniveen , an' I'll throuble ye !-- an' de b'ys, I hope, 'll be gettin' an honest livin' in time, yer honor. Barney! is that yer manners, ye vagabone of de world! keep de trackeens on you do, an' a jintleman to the fore !"
[some dialogue omitted]
The poor woman applied her apron (or ' prauskeen', as she would have called it,) to her eyes, seemingly disturbed by the question; after a little time she returned,-- "Ah! 'tis a hard trial partin' wid them, so it is -- onst they come--two girls an' a b'y's laid under de sod, an' Phelim, that's de eldest, he wint for a soldier; he never tuk to de larnin '; an' de schoolmasther , ould Justin Delaney, wid de one eye, advised we'd send him abroad, afore , may be, he'd get transported,-- 'twas de only thing he sed for him, and maybe 'd make a jintleman of him all out . There's Judy, an' Katy, an' Peggy, that's all my girls left. Michael, an' Terry, an' Dan's at school, gettin' their larnin' , any how . If yer honor looks through the windy ,--no, not the windy , the hat's in to keep the wet out where Dan broke it last summer, de rapparee! but out thro' de doore , yer honor 'll see Dinnis sitting under de bush for shelter, and 'twas digging a patch, he was, for de praties . And this is Patrick, yer honor ; ah! 'tis he's de jinteelest of 'em all, thryin' to keep de pig out o' yer honor 's hat, so he is; 'tis he'll make his fortin some day, whoever 'll live to see it, for its himself had de nate way wid him, ever an' always. But 'tis Barney, there, yer honor , brakes de ould heart in me, so he does, an' has nothin' o' decency or manners about him, for all his schoolin' , an' de pains his father tuk , an' myself, moreover, to thry to make something out of him. We niver 'll make our money o' Barney, I'm thinkin' , an' all de harum I wish him 's a good sarvice in a genteel family, for Barney's handy enough for that matter."

"Ah! the blessin' o' St. Pathrick , an' all his saints, on you, Miss Fanny, for that same , any way. Shoore , its you that has de sweet, asy , forgivin' temper, an' de heart of an angel, any way; an' its trou' fire an' water I'd go, so it is, be day an' be night, on me bended knees, to sarve yees ; an' now to think how I was takin' de gratest care in life, so I was , of the bewtiful gownd , an' , afther all, this misfortin to happen it an' me! bud 'tis de cunstable , an' not poor Barney, shoore , desarves de blame, de big, blustherin', spalpeen as he is! wid his umbrelli cloak, an' his white gloves upon him , an' meets me in Fore Street over , (for I'd cum as far as that same , all safe an' stiddy ,) an' me cummin' along, thinkin' o' nothin' at all at all , barrin' oney how glad I was to git home an' all right, an' how iligint Miss Fanny 'ud look in her fine new gownd ; an' its up to me he comes, an' pulls me be de basket, an' ses he, 'Follow me lad,' he ses , 'where do you cum from? an' what's this yees ha' got in yer big bird cage?' he ses . 'I cum from forrin parts,' ses I, thinkin' to settle him; ' an' its what I got in me basket,' I ses , 'is what I brote wid me,' ses I, ' becase its de thing I was sent for;' just so to him."

" Its a sconce ye are, Barney, an' that's God's thruth ."
"A sconce!' May be it isn't me modher 's son ye'd be callin' that same , an' she to de fore!"
"Ogh! Barney a lanna! 'tis yer mother's de dacent woman; an' only for her I uddent be listenin' to your words, so I uddent; an' kind to me an' mine she was that time in the sickness, -- yees doant mind the time, an' was a sthrip of a b'y thin , so you was. Sorro' taste of ingratitude iver was found in Judy Garatty, I'll say that, if its meself owns to the name. So now listen to me, Barney, avick! an' if its bent an' bowed on a change ye are, may be it issent meself couldn't help yees to a nate little gintale sarvice , with may be a lady o' rale quality."
[some dialogue omitted]
"Hould your whisht, [to footnote: Hold your tongue] agin , an' harken to me at wonst now. 'Tis a lady o' rale quality I'm tellin' yees she is, bud not the ould Irish, that's the thrue Milesian stock, seein' she's a born Scotch'oman , an' niver as much as seen the land o' the sod sin' the daylight fell upon her; bud no mather for that -- she's a lady by right an' by title, any way; an' if she's Scotch, that's not spakin' agin her characther . They meddunt all be the devil's darlints for scrimpin' an' squeezin' , so they meddunt ; an' besides, its boord wages yees 'll be put upon, an' in coorse yees 'll make a purty penny out o' that same, if supposin' yees are the lad o' sinse an' discration I tuk ye for. Its niver on boord wages meself , I wasn't; but in coorse , wi' broken vittals an' that, its plenty there must be cum down from me lady's table, an' no call to spind a hap'orth yerself , so yees needn't. "

" Awe! ar' you t' sarvent ? well, which is t' way?"
"Miss Jones desired I'd get a coach, Ma'am , when you'd have your luggage all ready."
"Awe, aye, there's more than you can carry, agh reckon; bud cum here, me mann . Ask t' coachman what he'll charge before you put t' boxes in, or else we shall hev' a faan penny to pay, agh guess."
"Oh! no fear , Miss, there's a reg'lar fare."
"A fair! an' can't we go round? Mun we go through 't, whether or naw . Awe , Betsey! t' lad says we mun gang through t' fair! Awe , dearee me , agh wish uncle John was here: we shall be robbed and murthered , be werselves , to mak t' least on't . Is it Bartelmy Fair, yon?"
"Ma'am?"
" Well , agh do say, cuzzen James mite a cum to meet uz , Agh nivver was in a fair bud once, and then agh skreeked for fright at t' moontebanks . Awe , Betsey, what shall we do, bairn ?"

" Its a sconce ye are, Barney, an' that's God's thruth ."
"A sconce!' May be it isn't me modher 's son ye'd be callin' that same , an' she to de fore!"
"Ogh! Barney a lanna! 'tis yer mother's de dacent woman; an' only for her I uddent be listenin' to your words, so I uddent; an' kind to me an' mine she was that time in the sickness, -- yees doant mind the time, an' was a sthrip of a b'y thin , so you was. Sorro' taste of ingratitude iver was found in Judy Garatty, I'll say that, if its meself owns to the name. So now listen to me, Barney, avick! an' if its bent an' bowed on a change ye are, may be it issent meself couldn't help yees to a nate little gintale sarvice , with may be a lady o' rale quality."
[some dialogue omitted]
"Hould your whisht, [to footnote: Hold your tongue] agin , an' harken to me at wonst now. 'Tis a lady o' rale quality I'm tellin' yees she is, bud not the ould Irish, that's the thrue Milesian stock, seein' she's a born Scotch'oman , an' niver as much as seen the land o' the sod sin' the daylight fell upon her; bud no mather for that -- she's a lady by right an' by title, any way; an' if she's Scotch, that's not spakin' agin her characther . They meddunt all be the devil's darlints for scrimpin' an' squeezin' , so they meddunt ; an' besides, its boord wages yees 'll be put upon, an' in coorse yees 'll make a purty penny out o' that same, if supposin' yees are the lad o' sinse an' discration I tuk ye for. Its niver on boord wages meself , I wasn't; but in coorse , wi' broken vittals an' that, its plenty there must be cum down from me lady's table, an' no call to spind a hap'orth yerself , so yees needn't. "

He's a lad of spirit; and, more than that, he's away from his friends, being an Irishman, you see, which its what you wouldn't guess by his tongue; but, as I said before, he's a fine-spirited lad, and its a thousand pities , I'm shot if it aint , he should be throw'd away upon people that lives in Montague Place; and, may be, get into bad company, through discontent and that. We all knows what a set there is in London; men that lives by drawing of young men into all sorts of vickedness and wice , and often bringing of them into evil courses , whereby the gallows, or transportation, is the very least they comes to. A young man can't be too much on his guard, as I often say, in such a dangerous town as this is. I have seen something of its ways, and ought to be up to a thing or two , at my time of life."
"Aye! aye!" was chorussed forth by the assembly. "If you aint capable to advise the young man, why none on us aint, that's all.

" Awe! ar' you t' sarvent ? well, which is t' way?"
"Miss Jones desired I'd get a coach, Ma'am , when you'd have your luggage all ready."
"Awe, aye, there's more than you can carry, agh reckon; bud cum here, me mann . Ask t' coachman what he'll charge before you put t' boxes in, or else we shall hev' a faan penny to pay, agh guess."
"Oh! no fear , Miss, there's a reg'lar fare."
"A fair! an' can't we go round? Mun we go through 't, whether or naw . Awe , Betsey! t' lad says we mun gang through t' fair! Awe , dearee me , agh wish uncle John was here: we shall be robbed and murthered , be werselves , to mak t' least on't . Is it Bartelmy Fair, yon?"
"Ma'am?"
" Well , agh do say, cuzzen James mite a cum to meet uz , Agh nivver was in a fair bud once, and then agh skreeked for fright at t' moontebanks . Awe , Betsey, what shall we do, bairn ?"

Lauk-a-day, yes, Sir! 'Lovers' Seat;' sure, and certain there is , Sir. Not as ever I see it myself, though I was bred and born in Hastings, and never ha' been out on it all my life, which is nine-and-fifty years, and over. I never was so far as Lovers' Sear myself, but the gentlefolks all goes there, and very much its frequented in the summer; I've often talked of going there, but somehow I always find something better else to do."
[some narrative omitted]
"The 'lopement , Sir. Did you never hear the story: its quite a romance?"
"Not I. Oh! my foot. Ah, hugh! Another glass of the cordial, Mrs. Kilderkin. There--that seems to compose me a little--A story is there, ah!"
"Yes, Sir, I was going to tell you. A Captain Lion, or Lamb, the gentleman's name was, I forget just which, but I know it was one or the other, and there aint much odds you know, Sir, between lions and lambs, not when they are gentlemen; and the lady's name I never heard, to my knowledge; however, that don't matter, for whatever it was, it seems she hadn't no mind not to keep it ; and her friends not approving of this here captain, she was sent down from London to Fairlight Farm here, to be out of the way in a manner, and get an opportunity of forgetting him, and that--. Howsever, some say these things is ordained, and so I think. What's your opinion, Sir? for it came to pass, that this Captain Lamb, or Lion, whatever it was, he was a sent down a cruising round our coast; and a spying out one day after the smugglers, which they had a great knack in them times hiding of their kegs up among the cliffs , and there he spies, just under the edge of the very highest of them, a lady sitting in white, and ayther a working or a reading , I can't justly say which; but howsever he pretends to suspicion it was a 'free trader,' as we calls 'em down here, and so he lands and scrambles up by Covehurst, and that way till he gets up quite to the down; but could see no sign of the lady, by reason the cliff hung over just where she was 'a sot.' Well, he lays him down on his flat, and looks him over the edge; still he could'nt see her. So then he sets him to work 'exploding' the little path she'd a made for herself through the bushes, and there, sure enough, he finds her a sitting in a little hollow, like; and who should it be but his own sweetheart; and had found out this spot, where she used to come and sit, thinking, I suppose, of her lover.-- Don't you think so, Sir? So they used to meet here; and it wouldn't be long, you'll guess, Sir, before he carried her off in his ship; and then this seat was put up, and many a pair of lovers has sat there since, as I'm told; and all the visitors goes up, the young ones in particular; its nat'ral you see, Sir; it's a something like to talk on ; and one thing leads to another very oft. But I can't say I ever knowed of a father and son going there together, not before. If you'd a had a lady with you, Sir, I dares for to say you wouldn't have felt no fertigue ."

"Now don't talk nonsense, my lad," interposed the coachman, "we have some notions of what a Hirish ovel his, afore to-day. ' Ow many rooms had your mother in er ouse ?