"Oh, my beloved bretheren," he said, in a true Caledonian accent , "what a blessed doctrine it is that we are not to be clothed, yea, I say unto you, clothed in filthy nasty rags of our ain righteousness, but the splendid robs of Christ. It dis na signify how great sinners you ha been, or are, provided you do but believe . Do na be loosing your time in laabouring aifter morality and virtue, and sic haithenish things, seek for grace, seek for it, and not only speunefus but ladlefus , not only ladlefus but kettlefus . The grace of God is irresistible when ainsce you have had the effectual calling, you ay persaivere in the parts of grace. I noo proceed to expound to you in our chief doctrines of the persaivairance of the Sants .
" Dinna understand that the Sants are to persaivere in any particular kinds of works, only in faith. As to works, the Sants ken better than to value themselves on them; Satan often buffets the ailect , tempting them to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life; as to the lust of the flesh, I wonna say that the Sants dinna indulge in them as much as other folks , but then what dis it signify what they do with their impure bodies, so that they keep the sowls pure from unbelif; but as the backslidings of the Sants are a stumbling block to the wicked, I coonsel all that ken themselves to be of the ailect , to keep among their ain number. Why should not the lambs of God play together ?"

To keep you therefore no longer in suspense, Lucy began by saying, (in a hesitating voice and a countenance strongly impressed with terror,) "Law, mame !, you look frightened;--sure you hav'n't seen any thing! O dear me, mame , this house is sartainly haunted. I have heard sitch noises as none but spirits could make; and as sure as I stands here alive, the t'other night, as I was a coming through the gallery where all the pictures be, I heard a noise, and as I turned my head, ( tho' I generally shuts my eyes if I comes that way,) law! I thought I should a died; for the great picture of the ould lady as fronts the door, and I always thinks looks at me, but now its eyes moved, and I saw them as plain, mame , as I now see your's move. Well -- I runs screaming back again, and just as I got to the great stairs I met Mary housemaid, and so she seeing me so frighted, we took fast hold of one another, and shut our eyes, and so we run downstairs; and when I told her what had made me so frightful, she was not at all surprised, for she said she had seen it more than once or twice; and when she told it in the kitchen, Mr. Harding, master's gentleman, said there was no occasion to be afeard , for sitch things did happen now a-days; and said as how he had read a book called The Castle of Trantum, where the pictures walked out of their frames, and sighed; and I think he said, sometimes spoke! Lord bless us! it makes me shake now but to think on't. However, I have never ventured through the gallery since; but I believe it is the same in every place in the house; for the dairy-maid, who is up sometimes before 'tis light, says she has seen lights and and faces a looking through the windows in the lower buildings, and heard sitch noises, as she's sure the ghosts must be playing strange gambols .

I asked Arthur Bennet, in a careless manner, if the castle had not been always famous for strange and unaccountable noises. "Yes, good madam," he replied, "that it has; but I never minded the nonsense that was talked. I have lived in it nine-and-forty years come next Michaelmas, and, thank God, have never see'd anything uglier than myself. As to noises, 'tis impossible that in such a great rambling place, but that there must be noises. Why I reckon there be rats as old as I am, or nearly; and then the wind makes its way in all the long passages and staicases enough to startle a bold man. But I hope, my dear lady, you have met with nothing to fright or terrify you; and I am sorry you did not go to London with his honour: such a sweet couple should never be parted. My old master and mistress never were divided for fifty years, and only then by death. But fashions be changed since then, and they say as nobody lives in that sort of way now a-days,--the more's the pity; for when two people loves one another , they should always be together."

Dear John,
[Writing] You nose as I promished to rite , and I be the more willen so to do becuase you nose of my parshality to Mrs. Jane, an I shud a rit soonder , but we a been in so mutsh bussle an confushion that I had no hart to set down to rite . My lord is gon now, marcy on him--I wish weed niver comed hear , but I musent tell tails . Sitch wachings and ridings by day an by nite , an for wat , for nothin but wat wull be a disgrase an the sweetest lady--but she as gin us the go by , an now we be all left at Blanzey upon bored wages, an not a thing we can get for our munny , for theres nothen to be had. Ireland is tore to peces , sad doins, indeed you may meet we rebles evry step you stur , an evry body goes harmed , an fokes hear mins no moor bein murdurd than if they was goen to a feest . Lord help us say I, but this is nothen to the purpus of wat as I ment to rite about. Tell Mrs. Jane as how in all my trubbles , an all my gurneys , an all my walkins , I niver forgot she , nor was niver arter thinkin of any thing ellse , tho my lord kep us up nite arter nite , an now we ha bin skuwring ovver the contry for madam, I musent menchun her name for fear of axidents . I think she must be dead or killed by the rebles , for wear can she be gon to, she ha no frends hear , and dont no nothen of her way, how shoud she poor sowl , an she was carred off in sitch a frite an a urry from her oun hous as she niver rekoverd , and she woudent speke to my lord if she cood help it, and was resentful to the last, but when my lord whent away, he sayed as how hed niver com bak till hed foond her, for she was all he walled in lif , so how it will hend God only nose , but bein as how she was a marred whoman , hit may prov a bad gob , and my pore lord git into trubble , but whinever you tels hit hit must be a seekret . I shal be glad to here from you. Plees to remembar me to all freends , and in partikilar to Mrs. Jane. Dereckt to me at write honnabel Lord Wycount Fitzarnolds Blanzey Lodge near Limerick Ireland, an if you pays the postadge it wull com free, so no more to command your
Loving freend
Stephen Macardoe
P.S. If you shoud here of Madam Sent Edward you may let me no , and you shall sheer sum of my reward, but her nam musent be menshend .

I must give it to you in his own words, madam, because you would not like to lose any part of it. "Lord Fitzarnold, a fine young man with a very large estate, has made so free with an English gentleman, as to carry off his wife per force!" "Aye, " replied some of the company, "how happened that?" "True upon my soul!" says O'Nettle; "it was neither by your leave nor with your leave; and if report says true, what was most extraordinary, it was against the lady's own consent!" "Why then," replied others, "won't his lordship be hanged?" "Why no," says O'Nettle; "I suppose circumstances will come out to prevent that, for it seems the lady and her husband lived on very ill terms, and that will go a great way to exculpate Lord Fitzarnold." "O now I think of it," said Mrs. Lacy, "it was mentioned in our still room the other day, and one of our servants had got a letter from one Macardoe, who lives with Lord Fitzarnold; and moreover, he said that the lady was got away and gone nobody knew whither , and that she was the sweetest creature that ever was seen."

"Lord help your honour," says the good countryman, "her a been dead a long while; why the fish had begun upon her, and you couldn't scarce tell a feature that her had: her cloaths all drapt off by bits, and we could only save these here papers that was in her pockets-- they be dried and persarved --and two rings upon her fingers, as we have honestly brought to your honour; and it is all a had about her."

"I knows nothing of a lady," replied the post-boy, (drawing up his horses, and scratching his head,) "but if anybody wants a cast , I'll take 'em to the turnpike for a can of whiskey."

Having out of friendship for the family, upon whose estate, praised be Heaven! I and mine have lived rent free time out of mind, voluntarily undertaken to publish the Memoirs of the Rackrent family, I think it my duty to say a few words, in the first place, concerning myself.--My real name is Thady Quirk, though in the family I have always been known by no other than " honest Thady "--afterwards, in the time of Sir Murtagh, deceased, I can remember to hear them calling me " old Thady ;" and now I'm come to "poor Thady"--for I wear a long great coat, winter and summer, which is very handy, as I never put my arms into the sleeves, (they are as good as new,) though come Holantide next, I've had it these seven years; it holds on by a single button round my neck, cloak fashion--to look at me, you would hardly think "poor Thady" was the father of attorney Quirk; he is a high gentleman, and never minds what poor Thady says, and having better than 1500 a year, landed estate, looks down upon honest Thady, but I wash my hands of his doings, and as I have lived so will I die, true and loyal to the family.--The family of the Rackrents is, I am proud to say, one of the most ancient in the kingdom.--Every body knows this is not the old family name, which was O'Shaughlin, related to the Kings of Ireland--but that was before my time.

"These shrubs?" said she-- "Trees," said he-- "May be they are what you call trees in Ireland, my dear, (says she) but they are not a yard high, are they?" -- "They were planted out but last year, my lady," says I, to soften matters between them, for I saw she was going the way to make his honor mad with her-- "they are very well grown for their age, and you'll not see the bog of Allyballycarricko'shaughlin at all at all through the skreen, when once the leaves come out--But, my lady, you must not quarrel with any part or parcel of Allyballycarricko'shaughlin, for you don't know how many hundred years that same bit of bog has been in the family, we would not part with the bog of Allyballycarricko'shaughlin upon no account at all ; it cost the late Sir Murtagh two hundred good pounds to defend his title to it, and boundaries, against the O'Learys, who cut a road through it." -- Now one would have thought this would have been hint enough for my lady, but she fell to laughing like one out of their right mind, and made me say the name of the bog over for her to get it by heart a dozen times--then she must ask me how to spell it, and what was the meaning of it in English --Sir Kit standing by whistling all the while--I verily believe she laid the corner stone for all her future misfortunes at that very instant--but I said no more, only looked at Sir Kit.

At this Judy takes up the corner of her apron, and puts it first to one eye and then to t'other, being to all appearance in great trouble; and my shister put in her word , and bid his honor have a good heart, for she was sure it was only the gout that Sir Patrick used to have flying about him, and that he ought to drink a glass or a bottle extraordinary to keep it out of his stomach, and he promised to take her advice, and sent out for more spirits immediately; and Judy made a sign to me, and I went over to the door to her, and she said-- " I wonder to see Sir Condy so low!--Has he heard the news?" "What news?" says I.-- "Did'nt ye hear it, then? (says she) my lady Rackrent that was is kilt and lying for dead, and I don't doubt but that it's all over with her by this time." --"Mercy on us all, (says I) how was it?"--"The jaunting car, it was that ran away with her, (says Judy).