On entering the house I was agreeably surprised to find myself received by the old man with a smile. "Walk in, Mr. Cowper," said he, "walk in; I be quite alone: my dame , with Dick and Susan, be all gone to Thornbury the-day ; but they be back by and by . I be glad to see you, and always shall; for I love a good action to my soul, and I have loved you ever sin' you fought for Fanny Ross. But I thought you was gone, Master Cowper, I thought you was gone. What brings you again into these parts?"-- Glad of so fortunate an opportunity of unburdening my mind, I immediately answered him with a question to the point: " Can't you guess, farmer?"-- " Hum! I don't like to guess," replied Cowsel; "I have too much respect for you to guess the only thing that could lessen it; the only thing that I can think of that would bring you back from London to Melford."

Mr. Gosling assured her, that the company regretted the loss, and the conversation then turned, among those who understood any thing of it, upon the sweetness of the Italian pronunciation, and those who did not understand it, were informed, that every word ended with a vowel.
"Then," said Mrs. Spicer, "the certainty of the pronunciation, so much superior in that respect to our tongue. By the way, Mr. Aubrey, I wonder to find you in the pulpit pronouncing the word know ledge, nollege . Why do you not adopt the clerical mode of speaking it? " --
"One reason, Madam," replied Aubrey, "is, because it is clerical. I know no right that the clergy have to depart from the established rules of pronunciation. It is an innovation of a few years standing, arising from an affected nicety of correction, and I am sorry that it is more general among the clergy than among any other body of men; for, not only the genius of the English language requires it to be simplified in its sound like other words of the same nature, but the clerical mode of pronouncing it is pedantic and coarse on the ear; nothing but the aptitude of running into imitation, could have led such numbers to follow an example in a sound so unmelodious. Accordingly, you find it adopted, only where a show of learning is aimed at; but, among the higher classes of extempore speakers, and among the lower classes of society who are led by their ear, the word takes its natural sound."--
" Nae , Maister Aubrey," said a Scotch gentleman, "I canna agree wi ye , for we awwaise caw it know ledge i' the North; and in gude troth , it daes na soond sae very unmusical to my ear."-- "I did not say, it was not Scotch," replied Aubrey, "but that it is not English; and habit, whose influence is universal, may render harsh founds pleasing."--
"But, Sir, hoo is't you can mak oot to change know into nol ?"--
"As we make out," said Aubrey, "to change fore into for , ho into hol , and many more. The Scotch say, fore head, and hol iday, as well as know ledge; but, as the clergy do not seem to have any inclination to adopt these sounds from the North, I hope they will gradually desist from that which they have adopted." - -
"You will allow," said Mrs. Spicer, "that it is grander to the ear." -- "No, indeed, Madam," replied he, "I cannot; unless it be that kind of grandeur which is out of nature." Here Mrs. Spicer exchanged emphatic looks with the dear Gosling.-- "Your calling this error clerical," proceeded Aubrey, "brings to my mind, that I not long since heard a man, and he was a teacher of languages too, talk of the London pronunciation , and Oxford pronunciation as contradistinguished, and he instanced it in the word nasal . 'Oxford,' said he, 'has it nasal , with the hissing found of s , whereas, London says nazal .' He was angry that I doubted of the error being general at Oxford, and from stating the fact, he patronized the fault, on which I contented myself with assuring him, that the Cantabs were better orthoepists."--
"Hoot," said the Scotch gentleman, "orthoepy is the very lowest of aw the sciences, and beneath the attention of men of learning aw together: it's a mere buznis of soons , a mere maiter of moonshine . What signifees what a shell is, guin the kairnal be good." -- "Indeed," replied Aubrey, "I am no such verbal stickler as to break squares with any man for his pronunciation: but, I certainly do not think it unworthy the attention of the most learned; and you cannot but know, Sir, that at all times the most learned have been solicitous to pronounce well, and to establish a standard for their language. The prosody of the Greeks and Romans, was invariably fixed on rules which have descended to us, and are in the hands of every school-boy; and though we are ignorant of their accent, we cannot doubt that it was regular and uniform. The Italians and French have shown their attention to the stability of their pronunciation and no polite nation feels itself above this care but the English: our words are constantly changing both their sound and sense. As for the word knowledge , I really believe it will recover itself, in spite of the Episcopal authorities, which at present maintain it in the pulpit I but I fear the word oblige *, will not be so easily retrieved. There is no such found in the English language as eige with the long i , and the sound of obleige **, is very grating to the ear. It is one of the companions in a class of words, where nature has directed our tongue to the preservation of the original accent, the ear being repugnant to a change, and till lately, it was always pronounced obleege by polite speakers--
Dreading e'en fools, by flatterers besieged , And so obliging that he ne'er oblig'd.
Nor would Pope, licentious as he was in rhyming, ever have thought of rhyming eige , with eege ."-- "But," said Mr Gosling, "what do you say to Lord Chesterfield, Mr. Aubrey? Was he not a polite speaker?" "Certainly," replied Aubrey, "and I have not a doubt that he always pronounced the word obleege ."-- "What will you lay of that?" retorting Gosling. "Who is to decide the bet?" said Aubrey, "he that is competent to decide the bet, can decide the question without the bet" -- "My Lord himself," replied Gosling.-- "I see, Sir," said Aubrey, "that you have embraced the mistake that has arisen on the form adopted by Lord Chesterfield, in his Advice to his Son, to avoid the vulgar manner of pronouncing this word amongst others; a mistake which is the more likely to prove fatal, as it has been adopted and confirmed by one of our latest and best ortheopists, a man of talents, erudition, and indefatigable industry, to whose labours the public are greatly indebted.*** But in spite of the enthusiasm produced by authority, I am not for erring with Plato; in my opinion, Lord Chesterfield, in the letter alluded to, meant to stamp vulgarity on the pronunciation of the i long. 'Even his pronunciation of 'proper words,' says his Lordship, speaking of a man deficient in good breeding, 'carries the mark of the beast along with it. He calls the earth, yearth ; he is obleiged , not obliged to you.' "The letters appear to me to mark the vulgar long i ; for no other diphthong so unequivocally expresses it. Lord Chesterfield was not writing with the precision of later orthoepists, and naturally took a diphthong which was susceptible of the sound, as in height , though its general sound be a , as in vein . Had he meant the reverse, would he have passed over ee , and ie to pitch upon ei ? impossible. But a still stronger argument is, that though the letters to his son were written at least twenty years before they were published, the alteration of the word did not begin to take place, till a considerable time after his Lordship's death: so that his Lordship's example, if he gave such an example, had no influence on polite language, though he was universally esteemed one of the most refined and most eloquent speakers of the age: and notwithstanding the concurrent authority of the best poet of that period, the alteration of the proper and original pronunciation of the word has been lately begun, on a supposed discovery, that to mark the found of long e , such a man as Lord Chesterfield would use the dipthong ei rather than ee or ie . As the best speakers in parliament, and the majority of accomplished persons in the first circles still persevere in the original sound, the word has perhaps some chance yet, notwithstanding the pronunciation against which Lord Chesterfield I am confident intended to protest, has been so widely diffused, and though it is even fostered on the stage."-- "There is muckle sense in what you noo say, Maister Aubrey," said the Scotch gentleman "for aw the warld maun say obleege , unless they go entire beside ilka rule of polite pronunciation-- to be sure , aw the warld maun say obleege ." This national support drew a smile from Aubrey, and created a general laugh, in the middle of which Colonel Spicer in his riding cloaths, made his appearance at the bottom of the room.
*Obleege.
** ei , that is, i long-- ai will not express i long without explanation, on account of the variety of the sounds of a .
*** Mr. Walker, author of a Critical Pronouncing Dictionary.

Ha! Grant!" cried Arthur, "I was coming to you. I suppose you thought me dead at least." -- "Well, fegs ! I didn't know what to make on't , not I, Master Rivers:" replied Grant, a decent looking countryman, who was now standing in the lane with the two friends: "I thought, for my part, as how you had given up all thoughts of the place-- it's a sweet pretty place, and I mought have let it again and again sin I seed you, for all it be so retired; and it wan't but last Saturday a gentleman comed ater it, who said he would come again some time this week to see nar if it were disposed of,"

"I really do not understand you," said Aubrey.-- "And that's surprising now," said McKnucle, " for I never spoke plainer in all my life, in a genteel way; for I would not go to tell you plump dash , in an open manner, that my uncle and me arrested your friend yesterday morning in his bed." -- "Oh ! I understand you now ," said Aubrey; "Mr. Elton is in jail then."-- "And indaid he is not," replied McKnucle; " so that whether I spake jonteelly , or candidly, it's all one with your understanding. I tell you once more that Mr. Eelton , your friend, is in Carey-street, at my uncle's: every body knows Mr. James McKnucle's.-- "A spunging-house, perhaps?" said Aubrey.-- " Fait ! " said McKnucle, grinning, "and that sure enough is the name given to my uncle's castle by some people: but that's an English-Irish bull; for , don't spungers go to an open house? When did you ever hear of spunging at a lock-up house?"

The object of Mr. Gizzard's bounty, on the receipt of it, hastened to the public-house that had been pointed out to her, and asked for some thing which the woman who presided at the bar could not comprehend.
" Toot , woman, I dinna seek ony thing without paying for it. Here's the bit siller ,"--and she held her money up to the light. " Gude guide us. What de I see? The gentleman has made mistak and gien me GOLD instead of a shelling .
"Well, mistress," said the landlady, "I think you are greatly in luck, I'll give you change for it, and then you may have what you want."
" Nae nae , I'll want it a'thegither; siller never do weel with those who dinna come cannily ."

I had scarcely ceased speaking before this Lady of the Bedchamber , without being at all put out of countenance, turned to me with the affected grace of a French elegante, placing her hand upon my arm with the ease and familiarity of an old acquaintance, and, peering with her little grey eyes full in my face, lisped out, " Pardonnez moi, Monsieur , but don't you think she is rather too petite , too littelle ?"
"No, Mademoiselle, I consider her as the master-piece of nature."
"The chef-d'oeuvre of art, you mean."
"The most artless creature on earth. Her features pourtray every feeling of her mind!"
" O ciel! That's too much for a mere statue."
"A STATUE! She has all the softness of feminine delicacy, blended with the fire of animation!"
"If cold marble can express so much."
"She, cold marble --She has a heart warm and tender as the turtle dove; and, give me leave to tell you, Ma'am, that you have a strange vitiated taste.
" Tout au contraire, Monsieur . Every body of taste agrees with me."
"Pshaw, nonsense! you are no judge."
"No Judge, Sir! I know that the best judges in the world give the preference to my Apollo"
"Your Apollo! and pray who is he?"
"Why, Sir, every body allows that the Venus de Medicis is not so perfect as the Apollo Belvidere ."
"What is it the Apollo Belvidere , then, that you have been talking about all this time?"
"To be sure it is, and were you not speaking of the Venus de Medicis ?"
"Not I, upon my honour! I never had the felicity of seeing her goddess-ship."
" Oh barbare ! Then you know nothing. You have never been at Paris, at least when it was worth while to be there."
"My dear little soubrette, I am more satisfied with the sight of your divine mistress, than I should be with all the goddesses in heaven or earth."
[some dialogue omitted]
This was drawled out, with a vulgar imitation of a true Parisian accent; and I was highly diverted with the little Frenchified amphibious Abigail.

"No, my dear, that is the King's Yerb -woman and her six maids of honour: are not they, Sir?" said the lady, addressing herself to Mr. Wily.-- "As far as any thing I know to the contrary, Ma'am," was the reply.
"My goodness!" exclaimed Mrs. Dory, "wonders and wiseacres will never cease! if there ben't the two Aldermen W's marching before the King! And see, see, Jackey! there's your old acquaintance, the Alderman of Portsoken Ward, with all his blushing honours flushing in his face!"

" Lauk , Ma'am ! he is a fine helegant man of fashion."
"Do as you are bid, girl, and don't exhibit any of your Tower-street vulgarity here! "
" Wulgarity , vell , I likes that," --said this highly offended lady's maid, when she bounced indignantly out of the room.

"For Heaven's sake, Master Clincher," cried the voice of the applicant from below, "make haste down, and light a fire, and get something warm and comfortable like; here be Jack Simmons and I ha found a poor wretch in Hawkins' Wood, almost covered with the snow, and mortal stiff to be sure ; Jack be run across to the cottage at the wood-side, to get somebody to help bring un here, and I ha started off afore , to give ye notice, and get things ready like ; so jump about , wool ye , that's a good soul, and bring down the brandy bottle; it is tedious cold, and I should like a sup o' brandy mysel ."
Masterly and elaborate as this harangue undoubtedly was, like many other elaborate harangues, it contained in itself the seeds of its own discomfiture: by a singular infelicity, the two words which operated most forcibly on the sensorium of the auditor, were precisely those least calculated to produce an impression favourable to the petition of the orator . The term, "poor wretch," was, perhaps, of all others in the language, the one to which Mr. Clincher had the most decided and insuperable aversion; and it is probable that the angry ejaculation, fast rising to his lips, would have been succeeded by the immediate replacing of the fork, and utter occlusion both of the advocate and his protégé