I must give it to you in his own words, madam, because you would not like to lose any part of it. "Lord Fitzarnold, a fine young man with a very large estate, has made so free with an English gentleman, as to carry off his wife per force!" "Aye, " replied some of the company, "how happened that?" "True upon my soul!" says O'Nettle; "it was neither by your leave nor with your leave; and if report says true, what was most extraordinary, it was against the lady's own consent!" "Why then," replied others, "won't his lordship be hanged?" "Why no," says O'Nettle; "I suppose circumstances will come out to prevent that, for it seems the lady and her husband lived on very ill terms, and that will go a great way to exculpate Lord Fitzarnold." "O now I think of it," said Mrs. Lacy, "it was mentioned in our still room the other day, and one of our servants had got a letter from one Macardoe, who lives with Lord Fitzarnold; and moreover, he said that the lady was got away and gone nobody knew whither , and that she was the sweetest creature that ever was seen."

"Lord help your honour," says the good countryman, "her a been dead a long while; why the fish had begun upon her, and you couldn't scarce tell a feature that her had: her cloaths all drapt off by bits, and we could only save these here papers that was in her pockets-- they be dried and persarved --and two rings upon her fingers, as we have honestly brought to your honour; and it is all a had about her."

She stared at me for some moments, and then said, in a true Irish accent, "Arrah my dear, but you look like after being a gentlewoman! Pray God ye be not be a spy from the rebels." I assured her I was not; that I would do her no harm; and only wanted to take a little rest, and have something to drink. "Why then, come in," said the good woman; "and be after making yourself welcome, for ye seem to be haggard and weary."

"Alack, and a well-a-day!" said the old woman, "he has been gone ever since day-break: he left his best sarvice to you, but he said his business would not admit of delay. To my mind, 'twas a pity that he would not bide to take a snap of breakfast this cold morning."-- Miriam sighed.-- "He was a comely looking man. Pray, Miss Merry, what is he called?"
"I know not; I did not ask him."
"Where did he come from, Miss?"
"That also I am ignorant of. I thought--I hoped--I wished to know many things which this sudden departure, this---"
"Good lack! good lack! Miss, the kettle has done boiling ever so long, and you have not made the tea," said Joanna [omitted some narrative and Miriam's dialogue]
"You grow terribly moody-hearted , Miss," said Joanna. "I wish my master was returned , for then it would not be so dull and so lonely, mayhap ."

Joanna, the simple-hearted Joanna, followed her.-- " Don't cry, dear Miss Merry," said she; " don't be afraid to see master; I warrant he won't scold you; he can't sure , if he looks in your face; and the new madam, I warrant she'll be as glad as a bird of such a nice company keeper in this lonesome place." [omitted: some of Miriam's dialogue]
"Aye to be sure , that's what he will," said Joanna as she staid a bit after Miriam, to adjust her own homely coif at the glass, that she might not be, to use her own term , a "figure of fun" amongst "genteel grand servants."

"Lord! Lord! how malancholy ," said Joanna. "I do believe as 'tis a franzy fever ;" and leaving the room, she went into the servants' hall, to report her opinion to them, and to beg that one of them would go into the parlour, and acquaint the family.
[some narrative omitted]
"What d'ye want, Joanna?" said Fitzpatrick.
" Oh your Honour! Oh your Honour's Lady! here's a sad to do, or I should not have made so bold. I went into the servants' hall, but I believe there's a parcel of savages there, for they wouldn't hearken to me."
"What is it?" cried Mrs. Fitzpatrick hastily, as if teased by her story.
"I ask pardon, your Honour's Lady, for my boldness in appearing before you; but indeed 'twould melt a heart of stone--poor dear young soul, poor innocent young creature, poor, poor Miss Merry!" Henry Stafford rose from his seat, and advanced towards her.
"What is it?" cried Fitzpatrick, peevishly.
"Oh your Honour, poor Miss Merry is taken with a franzy faver !"
[some narrative omitted]
"Oh my lady! your Honour's Lady!" cried Joanna, "she is a very pittice objec indeed, and a doctor must come to her."

She enquired who was there, and was answered in a well-known key-- " 'Tis me, Miss; 'tis your old Joanna."
"Come in," said Miriam, wondering what could cause the appearance of Joanna at Menooth.
" Ah, Miss!" said Joanna, "I should not have made so bold as to intrude, but I have such news for ye ! Law , Miss, master's at the Castle!"
"Who? cried Miriam, in consternation.
"Mr. Fitzpatrick, Miss, but, Lord! don'tee look so pale; you needn't be afeard of he , for he's in a bad taking hisself ."
"What is the matter?" said Miriam; "come sit down, and relate your story."
" Oh Miss!" said Joanna, doing as she was bid, and wiping her forehead, "this comes of old gentlemen or elderly gentlemen marrying young beauties; never no good can come , I'm very sartin ; but howsomdever I'll tell you.--Last night, 'twas near ten o'clock, and Joseph was just stirring out the fire, and I was unpinning my cap, when helter-skelter we heard such a noise! " Lord , Joseph!" says I , "is that thunder?"
"No, I'fackins !" says Joseph; "but 'tis a carriage coming down the paved road."
Lack a-day , what a pother I was in! The bell ring'd at the door, and I ran to it, and held the candle while Joseph unlocked it."
"Who's here?" says Joseph.
"Friends," was the answer.
" Lack-a-daisy ," says I , "why sure that's master's footman?"
"Yes, 'tis indeed!" says Robert; "open the door directly, for my master's outside."
" Blessed Lord , how I did shake!"
"Now," said Robert, "is Mrs. Fitzpatrick here?"
"Here!" says I ; " Lord helpee , Robert be dreaming ?"
"Has she been here?"
"No, I'fegs !" says Joseph; " this be no place for a gay body like she ."
"I told my master so," said Robert, "but he wouldn't hearken to me." -- Well , Miss, the short and the long is, that Mrs. Fitzpatrick has 'loped and carried off a deal of money with her. Robert says all the sarvants know as 'tis with a young East Indian, as she has kept company with a great while; but master wouldn't hearken to him that she was gone sure enough , but thought 'twas all of a frolic , till he com'd down to the Castle, and found 'twas true. Poor gentleman, I do pity en , for he looks cruel bad , and 'tis hard to be so tricked:--however, he's paid now for all his wickedness to you, Miss, and all the sarvants , they does laugh about it, and say their master is well sarved for his pains, in vent'ring on such a mad-cap , hoity-toity thing ."

Sir, what men of learning have you here--what men of letters? Have you reading rooms, and clubs for litterhairy people?"
" Oh yes, Mem , we have plenty of them there circulating libraries."
"My good Sir, but they are composed of Novels I suppose?"
" No, Mem ,: I beg your pardon, Mem ,; but we gets the news there too, London as well as Exeter. I read 'em myself most days in the week, for I've a turn for reading myself."
[some text omitted]
"Have you read the Puzzles of Litterhater ?" said Miss Davis, drawing up her head majestically.
"No, Miss, can't say I have."
The young gentleman looked at Henrietta. She smiled, and turned towards her protector, who, looking at Miriam, smiled also; and this little mistake of Miss Davis's had made four of the party more sociable in a single moment, than otherwise they might have been in a week.
[some text omitted]
"Indeed, Miss," said Mr. Jones, "I should like to get the book for my wife and daughter to read; for when they set about their fiddle-faddles , and their gimcracks, card-paper hornaments , as they call 'em , and their fillagers , and the rest of their sticking works, they make a fine mess, and a deuced litter too, and there's nobody hates a litter more than I do."-- The young lady could no longer resist her propensity to laugh. -- "And I suppose, Miss, this book as you mentioned, a litter hater , has something to say about them there things."

"If your honour chuses to stay till my daughter returns from yon village, I shall then have it within my power to treat you with an egg and a rasher of bacon. I expect her any minute."
"Thanks for your kindness," replied the Baron; "I wish for nothing better: nor should I make a heartier repast from the delicacies of my own table. Then, Dame, I conceive you have a daughter?" "Your Honour will see her presently," answered his hostess. "And a husband likewise living?" said he. "Yes your Honour. He is now at work at the vicar's, in the village," said she; and I am sure he would be glad of your good company; for we do not often see strangers at our poor habitation. The times are main hard, Sir, but, thank God, Providence is very kind to us. O, your Honour, that same vicar is a dear good man! Aye, and, Madam, his wife, is as good a woman; and he is a great scholard . 'Tis said as how ne'er a man in the country can read better. He writes out all his own sarments , and repeats 'em almost without looking in the book. He would fain take our girl; but he has a large family, and can't afford to keep no sarvants . Howsever , he always teaches her the catichize ; and is always giving her good device and instruction, which is better than gold and silver; for
[smaller font and indented from l. margin]
When house and land is gone and spent,Then larning is most excellent.