"What, you?" said Clarkson, looking round, as his arm received a friendly support, that saved him from falling; "come, that's hearty. D—n it , you are a real good one. You bear no grudge, I see; that's right."
" No; we bear no grudge," said the American, "though it was your tarnation evidence that blew us out of Court entirely. It didn't leave us a splinter to stand upon. But it was old Ally's fault, I guess . He wouldn't give you enough, old boy, and who could expect that you shouldn't split if you had not your proper share of the Spanish ? But what did you get from the other side?"
"A d—d fine question to ask a gen'l'man ! Why, I'll tell you. I got what you couldn't give me."
"And what was that?"
" I've got it here -- a precious yarn of old Holford's spinning; a confession in black and white, and I may publish it if I like."
"And what the 'mighty is this confession?"
"Why, look you, I was tried once for shooting a man: -- you know his name : -- but I didn't do it."
"I thought," interrupted the American, "you let out once --"
" Hold your jaw ; what if I meant to do it? I didn't do it. Old Holford did it by accident. Think of the old fellow coming between us and taking my work out of my hands ! He let me be tried, though, d—n him ! and then I came over to your free-and-easy rip of a country."
"Then he has confessed that he did it, and cleared you?"
"Yes; that's part of the story."
"And then -- the money?"
"A thumping annuity -- none of your promises -- all signed and sealed, by G—d ! I shall live a d—d fine life of it now!"

It was on one bright sunshiny day in the summer of the sixth year from the event abovementioned, that a gentleman, attended by his servant, arrived in a travelling carriage at a small inn in a village situated in the North of England, and inquired his way to the residence of Lord Arlington. The request was followed by a curtsey and a stare from the fat landlady to whom it was addressed, and then a shrill scream to a slatternly girl, who was carrying a pail across the inn-yard; "Bess -- set down that, and rin for Jim to show the gentleman the way to the Hall."
"Is it far to the Hall ?" inquired the gentleman.
"It will, mayhap , be a short three miles, Sir."
"But if our guide is to go on foot," pursued the traveller, impatient to arrive at the end of his journey, "I am afraid he will hardly keep pace with the carriage. Had you not better direct the driver, if you can, which road he is to follow ?"
" You'11 be for walking up to the Hall, I suppose, Sir," replied the woman with another stare.
"No, I shall go in this carriage."
" I beg your pardon , Sir," said the woman, "but you can't go to the Hall in a carriage."
"No?"
"No, Sir; the road is not over and above good , though I won't say you mightn't go it well enough ; but then, Sir, the gates are locked. But I beg pardon ," with another low curtsey, "perhaps, Sir, you have got a key."
"Indeed I have no such thing," said the traveller; "have you no key here for the accommodation of visitors?"
" Laws! Sir, there never comes no visitors here," said the landlady; " we are not allowed to have no key : they've keys at the Hall, and we sent for one aforetime for a gentleman as called , but we couldn't get it. We'll send for one now, if your honour pleases; and if you'll be so good as to walk in and take a little dinner, I dare say you'll get the key in less than a couple of hours,--that is, if they send it at all."
"Thank you, my good woman; but in that case I prefer proceeding immediately on foot; my servant shall remain here with the carriage, and Jem, whom you called for, shall be my guide to the Hall."
"I suppose, Sir," said the landlady, as the traveller was departing, "you know that nobody is never let in to look at the house ; but if you have business with my Lord or Mr. Bennet the steward, that's another matter."

"Why! to be sure," answered Mr. Prim, who seemed to be the orator of the group, " you speak like a gentleman, Mr. Aubrey ; and you can't wonder that, in these times, men in business should look about them: but, as I said before, a fortnight's no time; so, for my part, seeing you promise so fairly, I will manage to make up my money some other way." --"I have no objections," said Mr Pruin the grocer, "to following Mr. Prim's example; for I knows Mr. Prim to be a prudent man: but I must say that, though I thinks Mr. Aubrey is one of the most well-spoken gentlemen I know , it is going too far to our faces to tell us, that if he should not pay us, he would be the most injured and unhappy person."

I overheard the following colloquy between two swarthy looking gentlemen, who had called for the purposes of refreshment. "Well, Monsieur Noyaux," said one of them, "I think you must acknowledge, that this is as good as any of Monsieur Verigo's potage." "Bon, bon !" was the reply of the other, who would not allow himself time to say more, till the soup had vanished from his sight; when he thus began: "It is not de first time I taste it.--When I came from West Indies to this country, I wish to see de novelty, de curiosity of de place. I learned de English language at Martinique--speak, as you hear, like de natif . In de first morning I go to de grand spectacle militaire: evolutions exact--General, I suppose, give de word of command. I ask, Who is dat Officier?--'Monsieur Poplar' they say.
" Ver well! Impatient to see more--peep in at de libraire --take up a pamphlet on political economy--read one, two, tree page .-- Ah, tres bien ! excellent!--Who is de author? They say, 'Monsieur Poplar.'
" Ver well! I stroll into de street--Ludgate hill--Cheapside--move on to de Poultry--then to Cornhill-- Ma foi! I stand still--hold my breath--sniff, sniff-- de smell delicieuse ! Stop at dis place--come in--taste de beer, excellent!--try de puff, superlatif ! Ah, le carosse ! de chariot drive furiously up to de door! Un gentilhomme step out--go up de stair. When I say, Who is dat ? They tell me, 'Monsieur Poplar.'
" Ver well. I take de glass limonade --pay for my puff,--Pray, who is de master of dis shop? They say, 'Monsieur Poplar.'
" Ver well! Lounge about some time--Look in at de Guilt-hall -- Von man in de scarlet robe and gold chain--give good advice to tree bad men that stand before him. Say I, " How you call that Justice on de bench? ' An Alderman. ' " Ah ! but how you call his name? They say, 'Monsieur Poplar.'
" Ver well! I go to my dinnere --after, I go to L'Assemblee Nationale , de House of Common .--Orator speaking much to de purpose all about avantage of de debt national. Ask again, "Who is that member on his leg? They say, 'Monsieur Poplar.'
" Ver well! I stop von , two half-hour --I go away--drop in at de Teatre --too late for de Comedie --enquire, "What is de Farce?" The Adopted Child . Ah ! but who is its father?. Who is de writer?" They tell me, 'Monsieur Poplar.'
" O mon Dieu ! I could stand it no longer.--Here, and there, and every where--from morning till night--nothing but Monsieur Poplar! General--Economy--Soup--Shariot--Alderman--Justice--Member of Parliament--and Father of the Adopted Child ! Ha, ha, ha!--It was too much!

"For Heaven's sake, Master Clincher," cried the voice of the applicant from below, "make haste down, and light a fire, and get something warm and comfortable like; here be Jack Simmons and I ha found a poor wretch in Hawkins' Wood, almost covered with the snow, and mortal stiff to be sure ; Jack be run across to the cottage at the wood-side, to get somebody to help bring un here, and I ha started off afore , to give ye notice, and get things ready like ; so jump about , wool ye , that's a good soul, and bring down the brandy bottle; it is tedious cold, and I should like a sup o' brandy mysel ."
Masterly and elaborate as this harangue undoubtedly was, like many other elaborate harangues, it contained in itself the seeds of its own discomfiture: by a singular infelicity, the two words which operated most forcibly on the sensorium of the auditor, were precisely those least calculated to produce an impression favourable to the petition of the orator . The term, "poor wretch," was, perhaps, of all others in the language, the one to which Mr. Clincher had the most decided and insuperable aversion; and it is probable that the angry ejaculation, fast rising to his lips, would have been succeeded by the immediate replacing of the fork, and utter occlusion both of the advocate and his protégé

Darting her indignant glances on the offending parson-- "Mr. Trewanion ," said she, "I beg, sir, you vont go to defer nobody to me; you ought to have more purliteness , sir, than to insinivate that a lady like me doesn't know how to distinguish vether a boy is like his father or not; and let me tell you, sir."
"My dear madam, how entirely have you misunderstood me! I protest, that in the allusion you condescend to notice, I was merely doing justice to that talent for discrimination which all must allow to be Mrs. Gruby's characteristic, and of which I will venture to assert, she never gave more convincing proof than in her so readily detecting a resemblance which I from my heart believe, without any intentional disrespect to the company, not one person in the room possesses equal penetration to discover."
"None of your insinuendoes , Mr. Trewanion —none of your insinuendoes , sir, if you please; I understand you vell enough; I knows ven people are jeering, sir, and I vould have you to know that there is nothing I despise so much as your insinuendoes and your double saint andrews , sir, that says von thing and means another."
[some narrative omitted]
"Stones indeed! a likely matter truly!" exclaimed Mrs. Gruby, who had neither forgotten nor forgiven what she styled the parson's imperance ; " vell , vould any body but a ninkum go to suppose the old gentleman vould take the trouble to lock up stones? No, no, sir, take my vord for it, Mr. Baldwin knew better than that. I dares to say them boxes are all full of money, and guineas, and bank-notes, and sich like walliables , and not full of stones indeed!"

Mrs. Gruby, who how entered the room, saved him the necessity of making any. This lady, in whose raised complexion and agitated manner evident traces of strong emotion might be perceived, sailed most majestically up to the lady of the house, who rose to receive her, and began a hurried apology for having made it so late, accounting for her delay by saying, that, after nearly reaching the door, she had been obligated to go back, and dress herself all over again-- "For, do you know, ma'am ," continued she, "just as I was a-stepping over the gutter, and thinking of nothing at all, a great overgrown feller run right against me, and gave me such a shove that I lost my hequibylerium , and down tumbles me on my knees in the dirt." The whole sympathy of the room was at once in requisition, and a circle was immediately formed round the unfortunate matron, eager to hear a more detailed account of this disastrous adventure; captain Ironside, of the regiment then quartered in the town, declaring, with an oath, that the rascal ought to be crucified, who had dared to commit so gross a misdemeanour--an assertion which was echoed by his friend lieutenant Watkinson, who, with much gravity in his face, congratulated her on her escaping without personal injury, and hoped she had succeeded in finding again the article she had so unluckily lost in her fall.
"Lost! Lord louee , sir! I lost nothing, thank ye ; though, to be sure, I was very near having von of my shoes slipping off."
"I beg your pardon, madam, and rejoice that I was mistaken. I thought I understood you that you had lost an heguy --something which, from the concern with which you mentioned it, I feared had been an article of value." "Oh, my hequibylerium ! vy , so I did, or how should I have tumbled down, you know ?"
"It was only a walking-stick then, I presume, madam?"
"A valking -stick indeed!" and as she said this, her eyes turned full upon her hypocritical commiserator, to see if it were possible he could be laughing at her; the unruffled solemnity, however, of Watkinson's well-tutored features defied her scrutiny-- "a valking -stick!--no, sir, I never use no valking -sticks; if I had had von , I should have laid it across the feller 's back pretty soundly, I can tell you that."
"He would have come off but too cheaply with so slight a punishment, madam," rejoined Ironside; "annihilation is the least he ought to expect; and I should glory in the office of inflicting the chastisement upon him which he so well merits."
"No, sir--no, I thank ye ; though, I must say, your hoffer is wastly civil. But you gentlemen of the harmy are so polite!--But I have a son, sir, a hofficer in the harmy --Mr. Hoctavius Gruby, a hofficer in the loco , sir--and he'll punish enough, I warrant him, if I can find him out; and I am sure I shall know him again, for he had a vite hat on, and a very predominant nose."

The voice, though harsh, was evidently that of a female, which pronounced, in a tone of authority-- "Young man, where can I find the missis of this here college?" "Who did you please to want, madam?" replied one of the most civil of the scouts, as he followed the speaker farther into the quadrangle, when Baldwin, raising his eyes, at once encountered the large grey orbs of lady Duddle, who, leaning on the shoulder of her son Jacky, had now made her entrè within the gates.
The recognition, on either side, was instantaneous.-- " Well , my goodness me ! if this isn't petickler fartinate ! Master Baldwin, how glad I be to see you! only to think how we were a-wishing for you all last night, and now you are the first thing we sees in the morning!"
"I am truly happy, madam," replied her auditor, in a tone that a little belied the expression,