This primary business being happily dispatched, and the gentlemen returned, the new under-graduate and his friends were about to retire, on the suggestion of our hero, when lady Duddle exclaimed-- "Stop! stop! before we goes , pray, Mr. Ollivy, can't I see the missis of the college, as I vant to beg her to be petickler , and see that master Duddle has his sheets vell haired , and a few other little things vitch I should like to mention; besides," added she, "I should like to speak to the maid just for a minute, about making his bed, that he may be sure and have it made high in the middle; for, poor dear! he never can sleep, unless his bed's made high in the middle, and I shan't mind giving her a few shillings to attend to him; for, thank God! we can afford it" "Pack o' nonsense, Mary," cried uncle Barnaby; "speak to the maid, indeed! as if you didn't know there was no such things allowed at college. Do, pray, let's go about our business; John's now an Oxford scholar, and if he is not old enough to take care of himself now, he never will be." " Poh! poh! " replied her ladyship, "how should you know indeed, Mr. Barnaby, about these things? hold bachelors like you, as never had hany children of their hown ! How is the boy to be taken care of, I vonders , if one doesn't exert one's self, and see that every thing's proper?"
" That's very kind of you, Mr. Ollivy; and I'm sure I'm much obliged to you, and so ought John to be; but there's nothing like vomen in these matters; and I'm sure I think it's very odd you don't allow no such things at college: but I hope, John," continued she, "as you've nobody now to take care of you like , you be sure and mind to tie a hankercher round your neck venever the vind 's hesterly , and don't sit in no drafts !--And pray, Mr. Ollivy," turning to the tutor, who struggled to preserve his gravity, "may I trouble you to be petickler about his chilblains, for he's very subject to chilblains, if he gets his feet vet in vinter ; so vill you be so kind, sir, as to be sure and make him change his stockings and comb his head every Saturday with a small toothed comb?" "Any good offices of mine, madam," replied Holloway, smiling, "my new pupil may most undoubtedly command; and I trust that the attentions he will receive from me will be, at least, as beneficial to his future interests as those you condescend to point out." "Thank'ee , sir; I am sure that's wery good of you; and you can't say no more ," replied the lady, who now took her leave, and, with the rest of the party, again returned to the rooms of our hero,
Mrs. Belmont was proud of having a titled lady her guest. "Absolutely, my dear," she said, when writing to Lady Wilmot, "her ladyship is an inmate of our house, and is as quiet and easy as if it was yourself; who certainly are a lady too, but your husband is no lord, as her's was' and she is to have another lord for her husband, and is, besides, the mother of a lord; but as I was saying, she is quiet and easy but not so her woman, who is as troublesome a wench as ever entered a house. "Oh! mem ," said she to me, on their first coming, " I always has a fire in my room, and I'se cannot bear the windor open; as I have the rheumatis in my harm , and the hair always brings it on ." Thus she goes on, like all folks on the other side of the water, clipping the king's English; and then she has such blarney to her lady -- her lady the countess that is to be. "
"Oh, my dear Miss Sybella! you must be deceived -- be assured her ladyship would not listen to a declaration of love from him!" said Mrs. Belmont, pale with anger; yet afraid of further irritating Sybella. "He dared not offend her delicacy with such talk; and no disparagement to you, Miss Sybella, but you know your lugs are not quite right ; and --" " My what! ma'am -- lugs , do you say? I suppose that is one of your Irish expressions. " " Well , miss; in plain English I mean to say , that as your ears are bothered , my Bobby might have been talking of you; and you, knowing listeners never hear good of themselves, set it all down to the count of her ladyship."
Mrs. Belmont replied in the affirmative; and continued -- "The poor boy came to me quite disconsolate, and in order to raise his spirits, I took him to visit an old friend, whom I had not seen for these twenty years, Mrs. Liddel. Well, we had a power of chat , and Watty sat all the time patient enough; at last she asked me to take some refreshment after my walk: I refused as I never lunched, and was as full as a tick , after the grand breakfast I had eat with your ladyship; upon which, she said, making a pretty endearing voice; -- 'Perhaps I can prevail on little master to eat some bread and jam?' I laughed, and said those days were over with him: the lady looked shocked; Watty turned red and pale with mortification; and he has not held up his head since; nothing but the myrtle crown can console him."
Page 31. I thought to make him a priest . --It was customary of those in Thady's rank, in Ireland, whenever they could get a little money, to send their sons abroad, to St. Omer's, or to Spain, to be educated as priests. Now they are educated at Minnouth. The Editor has lately known a young lad, who began by being a post-boy, afterwards turn into a carpenter; then quit his plane and workbench to study his Humanities , as he said, at the college of Minnouth: but after he had gone through his course of Humanities, he determined to be a soldier instead of a priest. Page 37. Flam.-- short for flambeau. Page 40. Barrack room .--Formerly it was customary, in gentlemen's houses in Ireland, to fit up one large bedchamber with a number of beds for the reception of occasional visitors. These rooms were called Barrack rooms. Page 41. An innocent --in Ireland, means a simpleton, an ideot Page 58. The Curragh --is the Newmarket of Ireland.
Having out of friendship for the family, upon whose estate, praised be Heaven! I and mine have lived rent free time out of mind, voluntarily undertaken to publish the Memoirs of the Rackrent family, I think it my duty to say a few words, in the first place, concerning myself.--My real name is Thady Quirk, though in the family I have always been known by no other than " honest Thady "--afterwards, in the time of Sir Murtagh, deceased, I can remember to hear them calling me " old Thady ;" and now I'm come to "poor Thady"--for I wear a long great coat, winter and summer, which is very handy, as I never put my arms into the sleeves, (they are as good as new,) though come Holantide next, I've had it these seven years; it holds on by a single button round my neck, cloak fashion--to look at me, you would hardly think "poor Thady" was the father of attorney Quirk; he is a high gentleman, and never minds what poor Thady says, and having better than 1500 a year, landed estate, looks down upon honest Thady, but I wash my hands of his doings, and as I have lived so will I die, true and loyal to the family.--The family of the Rackrents is, I am proud to say, one of the most ancient in the kingdom.--Every body knows this is not the old family name, which was O'Shaughlin, related to the Kings of Ireland--but that was before my time.
"These shrubs?" said she-- "Trees," said he-- "May be they are what you call trees in Ireland, my dear, (says she) but they are not a yard high, are they?" -- "They were planted out but last year, my lady," says I, to soften matters between them, for I saw she was going the way to make his honor mad with her-- "they are very well grown for their age, and you'll not see the bog of Allyballycarricko'shaughlin at all at all through the skreen, when once the leaves come out--But, my lady, you must not quarrel with any part or parcel of Allyballycarricko'shaughlin, for you don't know how many hundred years that same bit of bog has been in the family, we would not part with the bog of Allyballycarricko'shaughlin upon no account at all ; it cost the late Sir Murtagh two hundred good pounds to defend his title to it, and boundaries, against the O'Learys, who cut a road through it." -- Now one would have thought this would have been hint enough for my lady, but she fell to laughing like one out of their right mind, and made me say the name of the bog over for her to get it by heart a dozen times--then she must ask me how to spell it, and what was the meaning of it in English --Sir Kit standing by whistling all the while--I verily believe she laid the corner stone for all her future misfortunes at that very instant--but I said no more, only looked at Sir Kit.
At this Judy takes up the corner of her apron, and puts it first to one eye and then to t'other, being to all appearance in great trouble; and my shister put in her word , and bid his honor have a good heart, for she was sure it was only the gout that Sir Patrick used to have flying about him, and that he ought to drink a glass or a bottle extraordinary to keep it out of his stomach, and he promised to take her advice, and sent out for more spirits immediately; and Judy made a sign to me, and I went over to the door to her, and she said-- " I wonder to see Sir Condy so low!--Has he heard the news?" "What news?" says I.-- "Did'nt ye hear it, then? (says she) my lady Rackrent that was is kilt and lying for dead, and I don't doubt but that it's all over with her by this time." --"Mercy on us all, (says I) how was it?"--"The jaunting car, it was that ran away with her, (says Judy).
"Indeed, indeed, sir, it is real true gold ," replied the supplicating girl; "and if it was not for mother being sick with the ague, and not being able to do a stroke of work, she would not part with it out of her own sight for the world." [dialogue omitted] "Kneel before that!" rejoined the girl; "what for, I wonder? no, not I; what good would that do? I never goes upon my knees but at church and when I scrubs a floor: but pray, sir, be quick, and let me have the money, for mother is in great distress."